A Joke!

cawimmer430 · 01-18-2006, 08:09 AM

In a totalitarian country, a Russian, a Frenchman and a German are to be beheaded. The Russian is first. The hangman asks him: "How do you want to die, face down to earth or face up to the sky?" The Russian answers "Face down." He is placed under the guillotine, the hangman pushes a button, and the guillotine rushes down. But, what a coincidence, 5 cm in front of the Russian's neck it gets stuck. Consequentially, the Russian is pardoned. The Frenchman is second. Like the Russian, he is asked how he wants to die and answers: "I want to see the sun. Place me under the guillotine face up!" So he is placed under the guillotine face up, the hangman pushes the button, and again, what a coincidence, the guillotine gets stuck. The Frenchman is pardoned, too. Our friend from "good old Germany" is the last one to die. Of course, the hangman asks him, too: "How do you want to die, face down to earth or face up to the sky?" The German is outraged: "I don't give a ****. First you should fix the guillotine!"

klier · 01-18-2006, 08:18 AM

No German quality, that guillotine

Star&Car · 01-18-2006, 08:41 AM

Hehe,good joke..I've heard of it before..

Yaz · 01-18-2006, 07:42 PM

Nice one Chris. I got a couple of jokes in the mail recently:

Quote:

LETTER FROM EX:

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've
been a good woman to you for seven years and I. have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your
favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in
two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't
tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're
cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your
constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off
all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look
just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say
anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I
went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag
was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

And some more:

Matt · 01-19-2006, 01:18 AM

Those are great. Thanks gave me a good laugh.

01-18-2006, 08:09 AM	#1
cawimmer430 Trendsetter Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Mühldorf am Inn, Germany Posts: 8,028 Thanks: 3,975 Thanked 3,189 Times in 1,366 Posts	A Joke! In a totalitarian country, a Russian, a Frenchman and a German are to be beheaded. The Russian is first. The hangman asks him: "How do you want to die, face down to earth or face up to the sky?" The Russian answers "Face down." He is placed under the guillotine, the hangman pushes a button, and the guillotine rushes down. But, what a coincidence, 5 cm in front of the Russian's neck it gets stuck. Consequentially, the Russian is pardoned. The Frenchman is second. Like the Russian, he is asked how he wants to die and answers: "I want to see the sun. Place me under the guillotine face up!" So he is placed under the guillotine face up, the hangman pushes the button, and again, what a coincidence, the guillotine gets stuck. The Frenchman is pardoned, too. Our friend from "good old Germany" is the last one to die. Of course, the hangman asks him, too: "How do you want to die, face down to earth or face up to the sky?" The German is outraged: "I don't give a ****. First you should fix the guillotine!"

01-18-2006, 08:18 AM	#2
klier Devotee Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,173 Thanks: 1,006 Thanked 294 Times in 179 Posts	Re: A Joke! No German quality, that guillotine

01-18-2006, 08:41 AM	#3
Star&Car Enthusiast Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 309 Thanks: 2 Thanked 21 Times in 9 Posts	Re: A Joke! Hehe,good joke..I've heard of it before..

01-19-2006, 01:18 AM	#5
Matt Devotee Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 2,957 Thanks: 270 Thanked 128 Times in 90 Posts	Re: A Joke! Those are great. Thanks gave me a good laugh.

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