Kowalski

Crikey! This is how they are desperate to increase profitability.







VW IN RADICAL USED GOLF PLAN



There was surprise in Germany this week as car making giant Volkswagen announced its latest attempt to improve profitability - by building second-hand Golfs. "This really is a very clever plan," claimed one VW insider. "You see our new car sales are not what we would hope and the Golf V has frankly been a disappointment. But whenever anyone is looking for a nice, affordable runabout the experts always tell them to buy a second-hand Golf. I myself was asked to recommend a safe, dependable car for my sister and I had no hesitation in telling her to get a second-hand Golf. Why should used car dealers get all the benefit from the fact that Golfs are about the only used car anyone ever recommends?"

Wolfsburg sources say the radical second-hand Golf programme will start with the second-hand Golf MkIV but there are already plans for an entry-level second-hand Golf based on the Golf MkIII. "These will be authentic second-hand Golfs for the massive second-hand Golf market," said another senior VW source. "We hope to build up stocks of a range of colours and specs but if someone is after a very specific specification, such as a black car with relatively low miles for the year and a dent in the passenger door, we will be able to built that second-hand Golf to order".

As buyers might expect from VW, the new second-hand Golf will feature exceptional attention to detail with a range of authentic second-hand features including faded but still slightly visible stains on upholstery, light curbing to one or more alloy wheels, car wash scratches on bonnets and a funny smell in the interior which will be masked by an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror and later traced to a rotting peach under the passenger seat. However, whilst VW's second-hand Golf plan may seem unusual, this is not the first time the car industry has pulled off such a trick. Daewoo have been making cars that feel about a decade out of date for years.

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Some second-hand Golfs waiting to be assembled. At the top, the supposedly dirt-cheap base version based on the Mk3 model, and then below the supposedly Luxury on a shoe string based on the Mk4. But what are they doing in Muhldorf? Shouldn't they be in Wolfsburg?






VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO CAWIMMER430 FOR THE PHOTOS.




I hope he doesn't get pissed-off at me...

Deutsch

sniffpetrol is the Hollywood Enquirer of automotive publications. They have absolutely NO credibility. Vw management is too sophisticated for that kind of decision making. The MKVI Golf will be here before you know it and all these silly rumors will be put to rest.

Kowalski

Err...You do know the story above was invented purely for comedic intent, right?

Not sure about you mate, but I chuckled a bit...

Deutsch

LoL, good stuff. I don't read sniffpetrol very often but I know that their writing is very loose. Hence the assumption. O well..

phaeton

This is completely false.

Look at Brazil and South Africa VW build the Mk4 and Mk1 brand new, no way is VW going to buy 2nd hand cars and resell them new

LOL funny article

far2000

South africa builds and sells the Mk1 and Mk5 , Not the Mark 4...

phaeton

China and Brazil builds the Mk4

I was typing an example of old gen Golf's still being built brand new

SDNR

LOL ....I just discovered this thread .....very funny.


...Kowalski, you had me worried for a minute.